"Love Song For a Savior" by Jars of Clay

In open fields of wild flowers,
she breathes the air and flies away
She thanks her Jesus for the daises and the roses
in no simple language
Someday she'll understand the meaning of it all
He's more than the laughter or the stars in the heavens
As close a heartbeat or a song on her lips
Someday she'll trust Him and learn how to see Him
Someday He'll call her and she will come running
and fall in His arms and the tears will fall down and she'll pray,

"I want to fall in love with You"

Sitting silent wearing Sunday best
The sermon echoes through the walls
A great salvation through it calls to the people
who stare into nowhere, and can't feel the chains on their souls

He's more than the laughter or the stars in the heavens
As close a heartbeat or a song on our lips
Someday we'll trust Him and learn how to see Him
Someday He'll call us and we will come running
and fall in His arms and the tears will fall down and we'll pray,

"I want to fall in love with You"

It seems too easy to call you "Savior",
Not close enough to call you "God"
So as I sit and think of words I can mention
to show my devotion

"I want to fall in love with You"

"my heart beats for You"

Coming Home

Psalm 61:2  From the end of the earth will I cry unto you, when my heart is overwhelmed: lead me to the rock that is higher than I.

"Coming Home" by Chrissy Zschomler

When I look back at the past, raining
Bright colors that sting my skin
I try to cope by sulking at memories
That are only alive within.

I wish I had that same old shine,
the gloss of each rain's drop.
Yes, it was once long ago mine;
But I persisted to make it stop.

I thought the rain would leave me wet,
cold, shivered, and chilled;
A rain that earlier I thought would make me
Happy, loved, and filled.

Yes, my heart is a compass that points itself
To the East, North, South, and West
I let my heart tear in a mind tug a war
Emotions too busy to find rest.

Soon I get in the car and study the rain
creeping on down the car glass
I can watch the stoplights blur up ahead
and blink as the cars quickly pass.

I soon arrive home, still feeling alone
and write out what I know to be true:
That when I feel distraught and I don't know why,
I'm just glad I can come home to You.

When my emotions want more than I could really have
And they mock my heart covered in glue,
I shrug off what they eat and know I am complete
Because I get to come home to You.

Worry shovels it way to the depths of my heart
And nods at the dark, chaotic view
It enjoys my pain but I know I'm still sane
Only when I come home to You.

There are days when the rain pours down on my head
And the memories they bring seap through,
But the emptiness in my heart that comes with each drop
Is one of the many homes to You.

And I soon realize as I look all around;
The past lying to me with what's true,
That everywhere I go, and everywhere I'm not;
is a residing home just for You.

It's not that You follow, You're just everywhere
I'm so thankful that I know this through and through,
That I follow You, because of this fact
That everywhere is home to You.

One step to the left, or one step to the right,
Or a direction I don't know how to do,
You give me such hope and bless-ed assurance
Cause everywhere is home to You.

And when the temporaries of this life depart from my eyes
and my spirit is fully made new,
I'll say goodbye to the world in rejoice and in love
because I get to come home to You.

At Least I Knew You For Fourty-Five Minutes

You couldn't even remember my name.
Alright, whatever. I'll try to forget yours.
Although it's kind of hard to, considering what your name is...
but, that's not important.
I just wanted you to know, I thought what you said about your dreams was really special.
I guess I would even want to know more of them.
You said you wanted a son one day.
You said you wanted to take your future wife to see the Northern Lights.
You want to be in Star Wars and Batman movies.
You said you really look up to your dad.
You want to live in Oregon because it's pretty and green.
You love the rain.
I'm not really sure if you'll remember my name again, or my eye color, or what my voice sounds like.
I don't really know you that well... I don't know you at all.
I mean, you seem nice, though.
But I just wanted you to know, you've got some beautiful dreams.
I guess I know a part of you, then- I'd say a person's dreams are a huge part of who they are.
I dare you to live those dreams. What's holding you back?
You'll make alot of people happy when you try.
But most importantly, you'll make yourself happy.
If you are as great as your dreams make you out to be... stay that way.

-The Girl Who Won't Be Remembered

PS... if you end up getting a girl, I hear they're pretty great to have, too.

"The Beauty Beneath Our Feet"

Here is what I feel true love is like and will be like. It was written by an amazing author named Josh Riebock, but I changed some of the words around to show how I one day hope to feel, mutually, to my future husband.

Before you, everything was merely an overture. My life started the day we met. Were you cruel for taking so long to show up? Or was I impatient for wanting you to get here sooner? Maybe, but waiting has always been a hassle that I try to avoid.

I like playing card games a little too much, and I tend to worry more in the winter. I will always love pretending and using my imagination. I round almost everything off in my head. I love finding the harmony to any & every song. I like learning things fast, but that often means I don't master it when I learn it.

Will we learn anything by doing it quickly?

It's true-I'm guilty of running into your arms. But also guilty of hoping that, once I'm there, the sun won't set. I'm guilty of wanting to be pulled off the train tracks by you. And guilty too of wanting to lie down with you in puddles of leftover rain. I'm guilty of biking through town, arms in the air, shouting your name. And just as guilty of pausing long enough to collect the words as they spin to the ground, like sleeping leaves from lullaby trees--

Maybe paradise is always somewhere else. Or maybe we're all blind to the beauty beneath our feet. Could Eden be hidden within us right now?

I can't resist a good heart. How many flaws does it take to make me a bad person? And is anyone humble enough to decide? Perfection is boring. I guess that makes us a pair of weirdo outsiders-- I wouldn't want it any other way.

You don't mind if people stare, do you? I love being different, out of the box, weird, crazy, calm, sad, happy, teasing, funny, excited, bored, with you. Overall, I just love being with you.

Few things in life are ever decided. The purpose of the old is determined by our actions in the new. True, my past is no beauty queen, but its got lots of personality. And since the beginning, you've always been eager to pull up the rug of my skin, savor what you find underneath, and show me that today can be just as hopeful as tomorrow.
 

You can find the actual excerpt at Josh's (not a) blog. Wonderful, really. You should also buy his book, Heroes and Monsters. It is my favorite book, written by my favorite author.

A Walk in the Park

My dog is a hunter dog.

No, not for people, or for most animals. Mostly he hunts for smells, and birds. Of course, the birds idea is a pipe dream; so alot of the time he just sniffs his way through bushes, leaves, and dirt.

He's definitely not one of those dogs who just walks along with you without any stops. He's a perfectly trained and well-behaved puppy, he is just curious and gets disctracted very easily. About 3 times every passing minute he must stop to either smell this bush, rustle these pile of leaves, or pee on this tree.

Unless he's doing the latter of those options, I usually lose my patience about after 40 seconds and yank on his leash. It'd be nice to just go on a simple walk with my dog, without any stops or hesitations. Sometimes I just can't seem to wait for him- I've gotta pull him to catch up with me.

As we went on one of our longer walks yesterday, I put myself in Pluto's (my dog's) perspective for a moment. I'd be a heck of a lot more curious than he about the world around me, or what could possibly be in those bushes. My owner would choke me constantly with all the stops I'd want to make.

It made me think of my faith lately. I've been stopping and getting distracted, sniffing through other elements that remain dust compared to God (less than dust, in reality). I let questions of mine, doubt, and fear have me almost run into the street. Good thing God's got a tight grip.

And it's also a good thing that God is patient with me. He doesn't yank on my leash or threaten me to move along or walk faster. He sits and waits patiently for me to notice Him again, and follow Him completely.

Today is Thanksgiving.

One thing I am certain I am thankful for is that God is patient and loving. He knows what is best for me, and even when I get entangled in bushes that don't matter whatsoever; He waits for me to come back to Him.

In general, I am thankful that He waits. So... what else could we do but wait for Him?

Psalm 27:14

"Wait on the Lord: be of good courage, and he shall strengthen your heart: wait, I say, on the Lord."

A Very Special Audition

There was a small town named Burough Ken in the rustic county called Peep Hole that resided in the hidden parts deep in Southern California. In fact, if you passed it on route 66, the only sure way of knowing you're entering the town is if you see the sign- because if you blink, you'll miss it! "Welcome to Burough Ken, Peep Hole!" it read.

One day, the city recreational team decided to put on a very special musical for all the town to see. The Director wanted to spread a special message across to all the people, a message of love, faith, hope, and more. He needed to pick just the right person to lead the rest of the cast to clearly bring this message across to the people of Burough Ken. So, the city recreational team carried on to put on auditions for the cast- but, most importantly- the lead role.

The line was out the recreational center's door as people lined up to audition for this special play. The hopeful auditioners would complete an application that questions their experience, talents, and what part they hoped for in the musical.

The first person to audition walked in through the doors, past the judge panel, and onto the stage.

"Hello Becky!" the Director chimed. It was almost as if he had known her for a while, when in reality this was their first meeting. "Are you excited to audition for this very special musical?"

"Why yes," she smiled and nodded. "Yes I am."

The Director smiled and nodded back at her. Then, he proceeded to quickly cut to the chase. "What kind of role would you hope for in the musical?"

"In all honesty, I would love to be a dancer. I'm not good at acting, and I'm pretty much tone deaf. I think I'd be best as a dancer."

The Director understood, then scribbled something down onto the clipboard in front of him. "Alright. Thank you for coming to audition for the musical." And he looked right up at her.

Becky shot a confused glare at the Director. "That's it?"

"That's it," he replied, as if there was nothing strange about his statement.

She stood silent and awkward for a moment. "You don't want me to dance, or even sing a piece of a song?"

He shook his head. "Don't worry, you're in the play. You're good to go."

Becky walked off the stage, eyes squinted, reciting the strangeness that had just happened in her head a couple times through.

Next came Richard. When the Director asked what Richard was hoping to be in the play, he was distinctly honest.

"Well, Director, I want to be the lead," he confessed. "I think I have what it takes- dancing, singing, acting, whatever you need; I've got it."

The Director nodded his head. "Interesting. Well, you're in."

The seemingly-experienced Richard was appalled by the simplicity of the audition. "You're kidding... aren't you? You really trust me enough that what I'm telling you is true?"

"Sure," the Director explained, eyes focused on the notes he was scribbling. "You in the play. You may leave now."

Richard stormed off the stage frustrated and confused; having prepared a monologue complete with dancing, singing, and acting that would display his capability- all for nothing.

Auditions went quickly with the Director's special process of the matter. About a hour into the tryouts, a young man came in to audition. He held his head straight forward while giving the Director his full attention- the Director could tell he was a bit nervous, but was not thinking of himself at all. All of his energies were directly on the Director.

"Hello," the Director scanned the young man before him, knowing something was different about this character. "Welcome to the tryouts for the musical. If you could have the role of any part of the musical, what would you be?"

The young man cleared his throat and paused for a moment as he thought.

"Well, Director-" he began, "- I want to be whatever you want me to be."

The Director's eyes enlarged and studied the young man. "Truthfully?"

"Yes," the young man concluded. "I want to be what you want me to be. You know what's best for me and that's all that matters."

"Even if I made you a tree who had no dancing, no lines, and no singing whatsoever?"

The young man nodded. "You know what's best for me."

The Director was truly amazed. All this time, the people who auditioned came in having something they wanted or expected. They assumed that they themselves knew what was best for them, or even that they knew better than the Director, when they came into audition. But this young man- he gave full privilege to the Director to decide his future in the musical and what was best for him. The young man surrendered any knowledge he had of himself and gave full trust to the Director.The Director knew exactly what would be best for this young man.

The Director smiled very largely and clapped his hands together. "Well, I think what's best for you is if you had the lead role, my friend!"

The Cake on my Hands

Today my 4 year old niece accidentaly put her hand in some of her mom's baby shower cake. She felt really bad and apologized to her mom, who is my sister. Then my sister replied, "It's okay, sweetie. Don't worry about it." And then, my neice began to cry.

Why would my neice choose to cry? Maybe she didn't even choose to, rather; it just out poured from her. Maybe she felt so thankful that her mom would forgive her so easily that all she could do was show her deepest emotion she knows/understands- crying.

I couldn't help after hearing my other sister explain this story to me but think of how representative my neice was of a Christ-follower. We as humans can be so wretched, so broken, so imperfect, and mess up twenty-thousand-trillion times; and in return to our mistakes, other humans look down on us, scoff us off, judge us, and hang pictures of our faces in the "wall of shame" they've built in their minds.

But Jesus was like my sister- actually, my sister was like Jesus- and completely forgaves and puts aside whatever mistakes we feel like we've made or whatever way we've messed up.

Lately my small group has been getting into why we believe what we believe. Sometimes I honestly cannot answer this question fully, in fact; it has been difficult for me to answer it lately. I have grown up in a Christian home, so it's easier to believe in Jesus then to not.

But there is one thing I know for certain and feel firm in in my faith:

if there is a love that exists beyond the measuring systems, universe, and the comprehension abilities we attains as humans, and this love is for me, and not just me, but everyone in the world;

then why would I want to reject it?

and if there are times when I make mistakes I constantly regret and people take note of it and make judgements of me, yet there remains a God who only wants what is best for me and will forgive me no matter what I do,

then why would I want to reject it?

I've stuck my hand in the cake far too many times; yet, God always kneels down to my level to make sure I know He still has mercy and grace waiting for me to embrace, hold and cling to forever.