The New Wave (Year)

Happy New Year!

I established last year that the beginning of summer is like the beginning of the new year for me. I'm usually happier in June rather than January, so what are you gonna do?

But it certainly feels that way already, and we're only three days in. Whether my soul is being renewed by screaming random crud at the sky surrounded by your closest friends, or helping out with Jr High at church (yes! it's true!! so exciting), or on the second day of school smiling at the sight of a girl picking a flower.. and thinking how much we could learn from that one.

Summer is also a time of thought, of standing on one side of the reflection. The past few months have been a time of reflecting, seeing what I "missed" out on, looking at the mirror and thinking "dangit. dangit. dangit.", looking at the people standing behind me and seeing that they weren't ALWAYS happy like we all wish and chanting "dangit. dangit. what am I doing wrong now?"

but Summer is standing on another side of the mirror. The one people usually don't see. It's one of those see through mirrors, where you look in the mirror on one side but the other side you can see through the mirror into the person looking in the mirror.



and summer is also the time where I can look through this transparent mirror, and start to be okay with things. happy with them, quite frankly. of course, i continue to dream of how I wish things could be, but you want to the truth? I think i take joy in dreaming so much that when dreams become reality, sometimes it takes the fun out of it.

a poem once stated,

"Are you the shore
and I'm the girl?
In your waves
Should I twirl?
I've yet to see them
In the night
But I hear them crashing
'Til we see night.

It is winter,
I feel like just watching your waves
Behind this raindrop blanketed
Window
For now."

It's not winter right now, but this is how I feel. I love doing, going, loving, doing actions; but in all of these actions, watching and observing. Creating new things to reflect on in the future.

Summer 2011, I have no clue what you have in store for me. What people I will meet. What opprotunities I will have. But I'm ready to watch and act on what is planned.

Chrissy Z