Blast-off.

Today in church, the youth pastor explained to us what the male gender thinks of right before they hit a baseball.

He said, "I don't know about girls, but when guys are up to hit a baseball, they have a clock going off in their mind. They're thinking, '3...2...1...let's go.' Then they hit the ball as hard as they can!" [Paraphrased.]

It only makes me wonder more about the guy mind and shows me how much I don't know about it. Living with pretty much three other girls and one male in my life, I'm not around males ALL the time. I have guy cousins and uncles of course, but still.

Is that what guys think of in alot of instances? Before they talk to a girl they like, are they thinking "3...2...1...go,go,gooo!!!" When they tell a lie and decide to give into telling the truth, do they say to themself "Alright. here's bring on the consequences. Three...two...one. "Mom? I need to talk to you..."

I've never really quite looked at anything with a clock shape of mind. There are times where I've tried counting myself to sleep, and I count waiting for my microwavable meal to be finished, or counting down on New Year's. But when I need to do something, there will be instances I wait; but I donnot count. I just...dive in.

Now explain this to me: say someone in jumping in a pool from the longest diving board EVER at the tallest height above the pool EVER. Heh.


Which do you think would make the experience scarier: jumping right into the pool; or counting backwards from ten and THEN jumping in?

This might be an opinion based answer; but mine would have to be the second. When your counting and waiting, it builds up SOOO much suspense and wonder and scary questions and ideas might build and form.

Does that mean life is scarier for the guy mind?

There is my random and crazy thought for the day.

One More Letter to the Dream of Someone

and yet another excerpt from my book, "Letters to the Dream of Someone."

Dear Dream of Someone,
My dad is too sick to go to the beach. He wishes he could all the time, but he is stuck inside our house; and the thought of that makes me sick to my stomach; and sick to my heart.
Today it rained surprisingly after 105 degree weather for the past week or two. It was very nice.
And after a while, it stopped. But the aftertaste of the rain in the breeze was beautiful. It felt like I was walking on the beach as I walked outside, barefoot, in a light blue tang top.
In the black street I walked over to my dad and said “Dad, the rain was beautiful today. This breeze is delightful.”
He agreed with me. “It certainly is.”
I told him, “It feels like we’re at the beach.”
He agreed with me. “It certainly does.”
I gave him a big hug, took in his aroma, and told him “You even SMELL like the beach!”
He told me “That’s because I’m wearing my suntan spray.”
I told him, “Let’s pretend we’re at the beach, daddy.”
He told me “I already did. I walked to the mailbox, and I was walking to the ocean shore. And now I’m walking back to our beach house on the sand with you.”
And so we walked to our beach house.
I don’t understand why everyone doesn’t pretend when they are limited to what they can do in life.
Love, Me

Hidden in Our Hearts.

Last night like I imagine many of you were, my sleep was interuppted (interuppted puts a negative vibe on it... truthfully, it was a nice little "awakening" :D) by the beating and drumming of rain upon my rooftop. It continued to become louder and stronger, I eventually even came to believe it was hail (then again,considering we live in Southern California, we can definatley say my logic from that conclusion was coming from a girl who was 1/4ths asleep...;) ). Then, hours later, I fully woke up.

The sky outside my window was clouded and gray. Usually that kind of weather makes me on the sad side, but today I found it very refreshing and pleasing to my spirit. Then I dove into the bible. I read Acts 2... which was super crazy interesting!!! There's tongues on fire, moons made out of blood, and a recap of how the 11 prophets knew for a fact Jesus was Messiah.

Then, I continued to look at the verses I memorized. And my main point for writing this post today, is for this. I had to add all of the other things because, well, this is a variation of what one of many beautiful mornings are to me. I intended no structure or plotline for this blog post, you could say I'm going with a "Napolean Dynamite" writing style today in that matter; but I just needed to say: I really don't know if God made us all with a certain thing in the world that makes us TRULY happy... sure, He gives us things we're passionate about like with me---music, nature, photography, writing. But even after I invest in those things I find myself turning to the face of sadness yet again, and why? I have an amazing blessed life with beautiful family who know all about love and teach it to me as well as do my beautiful friends. I live in a safe place with great neighbors and food and warmth (or AC when we need it :-). I go to one heck of a church and one heck of a school.. and not to mention the weather is pretty much perfect where I live. So why did I find myself becoming somewhat sad this summer?

I don't know if there is one particular answer to that question. But I frankly don't feel like answering it right now. Of course you need to face and conquer your answers to questions like "What makes you sad?" or "what makes you scared?" but for the past weeks I have found answers to even bigger and more challenging questions like "What keeps your heart joyful for more than just a temporary time?" And again I wonder if God gives each of us our own answer to this question like He gives us gifts.

But I have found mine. At the same time I don't want to just call it mine because it is something everyone can find joy and amazement in. It may seem like something like a hassle, work, even like SCHOOL work to some people but I bet if they just give it a try their hearts will turn like the moon turns from it's dark side to it's light (like mine did).

(Excuse the constant tangenting.) In junior high at my church, there was a day where the junior highers could pose a question to the staff, and that Sunday we were asked "What makes you know God is real?" and certain questions along those lines.

And here is my answer, to the previous two questions I've stated: Bible memorization.

true. joy. seriously.