Last night like I imagine many of you were, my sleep was interuppted (interuppted puts a negative vibe on it... truthfully, it was a nice little "awakening" :D) by the beating and drumming of rain upon my rooftop. It continued to become louder and stronger, I eventually even came to believe it was hail (then again,considering we live in Southern California, we can definatley say my logic from that conclusion was coming from a girl who was 1/4ths asleep...;) ). Then, hours later, I fully woke up.
The sky outside my window was clouded and gray. Usually that kind of weather makes me on the sad side, but today I found it very refreshing and pleasing to my spirit. Then I dove into the bible. I read Acts 2... which was super crazy interesting!!! There's tongues on fire, moons made out of blood, and a recap of how the 11 prophets knew for a fact Jesus was Messiah.
Then, I continued to look at the verses I memorized. And my main point for writing this post today, is for this. I had to add all of the other things because, well, this is a variation of what one of many beautiful mornings are to me. I intended no structure or plotline for this blog post, you could say I'm going with a "Napolean Dynamite" writing style today in that matter; but I just needed to say: I really don't know if God made us all with a certain thing in the world that makes us TRULY happy... sure, He gives us things we're passionate about like with me---music, nature, photography, writing. But even after I invest in those things I find myself turning to the face of sadness yet again, and why? I have an amazing blessed life with beautiful family who know all about love and teach it to me as well as do my beautiful friends. I live in a safe place with great neighbors and food and warmth (or AC when we need it :-). I go to one heck of a church and one heck of a school.. and not to mention the weather is pretty much perfect where I live. So why did I find myself becoming somewhat sad this summer?
I don't know if there is one particular answer to that question. But I frankly don't feel like answering it right now. Of course you need to face and conquer your answers to questions like "What makes you sad?" or "what makes you scared?" but for the past weeks I have found answers to even bigger and more challenging questions like "What keeps your heart joyful for more than just a temporary time?" And again I wonder if God gives each of us our own answer to this question like He gives us gifts.
But I have found mine. At the same time I don't want to just call it mine because it is something everyone can find joy and amazement in. It may seem like something like a hassle, work, even like SCHOOL work to some people but I bet if they just give it a try their hearts will turn like the moon turns from it's dark side to it's light (like mine did).
(Excuse the constant tangenting.) In junior high at my church, there was a day where the junior highers could pose a question to the staff, and that Sunday we were asked "What makes you know God is real?" and certain questions along those lines.
And here is my answer, to the previous two questions I've stated: Bible memorization.
true. joy. seriously.
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