My Father and the Coach

We are running a race,
and your a bit ahead
I am stumbling to catch up
to you,
I am spinning in circles
biting my tongue
flapping my arms hoping that
maybe I can fly in the end
to catch up
to you,
thinking maybe if I meet you
at the end of the race
that'll show what I'm really worth,
to not only you but to myself.
when you tell me congratulations
shake my hand, then my brain,
then my heart
that'll show what I'm really worth
to not only you but myself
and for right now you are
a blinded coach,
you don't know you're
coaching me
but the truth is
I don't even know where
or when
this race ends,
I'm just following you.

But in the back
of my mind, there is
a truth
that I know.
My Father said not
to follow other coaches
without His consent.
I've rejected coaches before,
maybe I've rejected you before?
Oh Father,
I don't know if he'll really
coach me correctly,
should I really be
trying to catch up to this
blinded coach?
Do you yearn for me to even
follow after you, oh coach?
Would you capture me
if I tripped on the track
with bruises and scrapes
dripping down my back?

My Father seems to always know the
answers,
and today I asked Him what I should
do, and He told me
dearie, why are you running and stumbling
over your own feet for only the purpose
of catching up?
Don't you know coaches come and go,
and this one may seem very special,
(that's because he is very special),
but he is not the only coach;
one day a coach will come
who actually wants to teach,
to train you.
Maybe this coach will want to someday,
but for now, you can walk it out.
Maybe he'll stop and wait for you,
maybe someone else will come and
yearn to teach you and guide you
to the finish line,
and maybe you'll yearn for him
to teach you too.
But the truth is, my dear;
there is no need to run,
because this life is not even
a race.
Run as if it is! Yes, of course.
But not just to catch up
to other people, not just
to compare yourself to others
and not just to catch up
to others so they can compliment
your technique.
Go at your own pace,
and one day a coach will come after you
instead of vice versa
and encourage you.
This life,
in that sense,
is not a race..