It's been a while, but I think Writer's block and not alot of free time is all I have for an excuse.
for those of you who actually read this, thanks! it means alot to Haley and I, even though I've been a serious blog-hog... again, sorry haley.
reily minton and i were hanging out last night, having what we now call a 'forever younglife friday' where we basically get a bunch of our friends together and chill/do whatever. fellowship, worship, messing around-ship; and every inch of it's fueled by God-- even when the 'awesome' team pwns the opposing team in kickball(which we successfully did :D) anyway, riles (reily) and i were laying in the cool grass, staring at the stars; and it was silent. a GOOD silent. the kind of silent where the quote, "sometimes there is peace in chaos. a serene lullaby in disorder and anarchy of life. one just has to listen." (Stephen Christian) would be TOTALLY appropriate. i shattered the silence by finally telling my good friend why i love stars so much...
because, they are a perfect representation of how a true Christ followers life should be. they should be such lights in the dark, so light and pure; that other little stars are made just from there light God has put in them. we should be THAT bright; always being pure, and following God every step of our lives. and help other people reflect God's light as well... we're are the stars, and God could be considered the moon; in this sense. we try to shine as bright as the moon, and eventually we blow up and go to star-heaven... (i didn't really mention that last part to reily... hehehe :D)
a few more subjects were tossed around, and she eventually told me she likes to live life of the edge. i think we came across it because she said she's a big risk-taker or something. when i hear 'on-the-edge' i think of your typical edgy, dare-devil never-thinking-before-doing kind of person... and the label definatley did NOT fit reily! then she explained why she lives living life that way: she likes the view from the edge.
we were sitting on a hill at the time, and she said, "see? i like the edge, like i like the edge of this hill. i like sitting on the edge of the hill because of the amazing view" (at the time, the view was of a big handful of city lights... it was nice.) it made me realize: i think i like living on the edge because of that same reason, too. the view is amazing. and most of the time, we don't know how the view from the edge got there, or why it's there, or how it came crumbled together as a handful of city-lights; but it's true and it's there. and that often proves to be the one core thing a human can always depend on-- the truth.
wait a sec... "He is the way, the TRUTH, and the LIGHT."-- John 14:6
lights. stars. moon. city lights. view. truth.
this seriously JUST all came together as i typed this. it's amazing how God makes thins work together like that sometimes... TRULY amazing.
maybe God wants us all to live on the edge, then. after all, if we fall; He'd catch us.
a Relient K lyric that went well with this apiffany: "And this is how I choose to live, As if I'm jumping off a cliff, knowing that you'll save me..." (Life after Death and Taxes)
Jumping off a cliff, seeing the view from it... we'll be pushed to the edge eventually in our lives, and when we're there, we'll have the choice of running away, jumping off the cliff, or embracing the view from the cliff. me personally: i haven't decided yet, but for now... i'm just embracing the edge.
--Chrissy Z
Sunday, May 30, 2010
Monday, May 17, 2010
"It is Well"
I'm writing this at the school library... I feel so coffee house-ish.
Hehe, I kinda like it.
Anyway, 2 nights ago we were having a bible study at Haley's house and we stumbled across alot of things as we read in 2 Peter. A passage we were working on:
2 Peter:
5For this very reason, make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; 6and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; 7and to godliness, brotherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness, love.
We discussed how we liked the fact it was like a flowchart, and it is. It's a progression leading up to love itself. We also thought about it in reverse-- from love to brotherly kindness, from brotherly kindness to godliness; and so on. We discussed each transistion and how one step built up to the next step, and it really spoke to me.
But after that, we strolled outside and occupied the middle of the street, only having Joe's guitar, our COA songbooks, and ourselves to provide the music. It was SO good to just be under God's glowing creations we label as 'stars' and under that raw worship.
One of the songs we sang was "It is Well", a classic & favorite hymn of mine. The Lyrics:
1. When peace, like a river, attendeth my way,
when sorrows like sea billows roll;
whatever my lot, thou hast taught me to say,
It is well, it is well with my soul.
Refrain:
It is well with my soul,
it is well, it is well with my soul.
2. Though Satan should buffet, though trials should come,
let this blest assurance control,
that Christ has regarded my helpless estate,
and hath shed his own blood for my soul.
(Refrain)
3. My sin, oh, the bliss of this glorious thought!
My sin, not in part but the whole,
is nailed to the cross, and I bear it no more,
praise the Lord, praise the Lord, O my soul!
(Refrain)
4. And, Lord, haste the day when my faith shall be sight,
the clouds be rolled back as a scroll;
the trump shall resound, and the Lord shall descend,
even so, it is well with my soul.
(Refrain)
The whole song spoke to me, but I think verse 4 was written in bold letters across my mind. Especially with this sadness linguiring inside of me; it was a great reminder that I don't have to be sad. I have a great, solid relationship with God; and I couldn't ask for anything more. And sadness will come and go, but God stays... forever.
It is WELL with my soul. <3
--Chrissy Z
Hehe, I kinda like it.
Anyway, 2 nights ago we were having a bible study at Haley's house and we stumbled across alot of things as we read in 2 Peter. A passage we were working on:
2 Peter:
5For this very reason, make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; 6and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; 7and to godliness, brotherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness, love.
We discussed how we liked the fact it was like a flowchart, and it is. It's a progression leading up to love itself. We also thought about it in reverse-- from love to brotherly kindness, from brotherly kindness to godliness; and so on. We discussed each transistion and how one step built up to the next step, and it really spoke to me.
But after that, we strolled outside and occupied the middle of the street, only having Joe's guitar, our COA songbooks, and ourselves to provide the music. It was SO good to just be under God's glowing creations we label as 'stars' and under that raw worship.
One of the songs we sang was "It is Well", a classic & favorite hymn of mine. The Lyrics:
1. When peace, like a river, attendeth my way,
when sorrows like sea billows roll;
whatever my lot, thou hast taught me to say,
It is well, it is well with my soul.
Refrain:
It is well with my soul,
it is well, it is well with my soul.
2. Though Satan should buffet, though trials should come,
let this blest assurance control,
that Christ has regarded my helpless estate,
and hath shed his own blood for my soul.
(Refrain)
3. My sin, oh, the bliss of this glorious thought!
My sin, not in part but the whole,
is nailed to the cross, and I bear it no more,
praise the Lord, praise the Lord, O my soul!
(Refrain)
4. And, Lord, haste the day when my faith shall be sight,
the clouds be rolled back as a scroll;
the trump shall resound, and the Lord shall descend,
even so, it is well with my soul.
(Refrain)
The whole song spoke to me, but I think verse 4 was written in bold letters across my mind. Especially with this sadness linguiring inside of me; it was a great reminder that I don't have to be sad. I have a great, solid relationship with God; and I couldn't ask for anything more. And sadness will come and go, but God stays... forever.
It is WELL with my soul. <3
--Chrissy Z
Friday, May 14, 2010
Oh Fire Burn Inside Me.
First off.
HALEY! I'm sorry for posting so many blog posts instead of you posting some. I've just really been needing to write this week and I feel like this is a good way of doing so.
Anyway, this week was a trip. A painful trip, both the trip that makes you think "What the heck is going on?!" and trip like "I tripped over a rock, oww." Which births a very negative connotation of my week, and also the question "Well why is your week not as good as last weeks or the week before? Why do you seem so SAD?"
(I've only been asked that 5 million times this week! :P)
The truth is, I don't have a specific reason for feeling this way. I guess it's a mixture of things. Don't get me wrong, I have an amazing life that's blessed in infinity ways; but I just feel this general sadness lingering inside of me. But like the bonfire lit up the dark sky tonight when I was hanging out with some friends; I honestly can say one slither of light that cracks through will make a huge difference. And it did.
Today, as He has this past few months, God has shown me what amazing friends I have. (Refer back to the post: "I Can Finally See the Sunset... I'm gonna Call it Home.") And he's shown me, it's times like those that remind me God has purpose inside of me burning to be set free amongst all these worries and anxieties. This fire is way more visable than the dark, and my eyes are more attracted to the fire than to the darkness. I'm praying to God He makes that burning passion so strong that it overpowers the darkness to where I'm not able to see it any longer... or feel it. Funny, I'd rather be burned by a fire of passion than left alone in the cold dark! I am DEFINATLEY a summer girl. (:
As humans, we need to all see that these gifts God's given us are way more visable than any darkness; and even a sliver of the fire we call gifts can light up a room and instantly inspire people. We just need to stop focusing on the darkness, or else we'll be let cold & wet alone in the dark because we refuse to focus on anything else... even if your heart is drenched in a complete FIRE of passion and gifts!!
There's a good song by Tenth Avenue North called "Healing Begins", which talks about a similar thing: this light meeting the darkness. My friend Reily (Riles!) brought it up, and here are some ot its highlighted lyrics:
So let 'em fall down
There's freedom waiting in the sound
When you let your walls fall to the ground
We're here now
This is where the healing begins, oh
This is where the healing starts
When you come to where you're broken within
The light meets the dark
Hmm. The healing begins AFTER you let the walls fall down? AFTER you take down these walls of defense (well, walls you THINK are defending you but are truly just covering up insecurities and imperfections)? Thank you, Tenth Avenue North, for bringing a good point up: the walls fall down, then the light meets the dark, than Healing begins.
I think I've been stuck on step 1 for a couple years now.
Would you feel the same way about yourself?
HALEY! I'm sorry for posting so many blog posts instead of you posting some. I've just really been needing to write this week and I feel like this is a good way of doing so.
Anyway, this week was a trip. A painful trip, both the trip that makes you think "What the heck is going on?!" and trip like "I tripped over a rock, oww." Which births a very negative connotation of my week, and also the question "Well why is your week not as good as last weeks or the week before? Why do you seem so SAD?"
(I've only been asked that 5 million times this week! :P)
The truth is, I don't have a specific reason for feeling this way. I guess it's a mixture of things. Don't get me wrong, I have an amazing life that's blessed in infinity ways; but I just feel this general sadness lingering inside of me. But like the bonfire lit up the dark sky tonight when I was hanging out with some friends; I honestly can say one slither of light that cracks through will make a huge difference. And it did.
Today, as He has this past few months, God has shown me what amazing friends I have. (Refer back to the post: "I Can Finally See the Sunset... I'm gonna Call it Home.") And he's shown me, it's times like those that remind me God has purpose inside of me burning to be set free amongst all these worries and anxieties. This fire is way more visable than the dark, and my eyes are more attracted to the fire than to the darkness. I'm praying to God He makes that burning passion so strong that it overpowers the darkness to where I'm not able to see it any longer... or feel it. Funny, I'd rather be burned by a fire of passion than left alone in the cold dark! I am DEFINATLEY a summer girl. (:
As humans, we need to all see that these gifts God's given us are way more visable than any darkness; and even a sliver of the fire we call gifts can light up a room and instantly inspire people. We just need to stop focusing on the darkness, or else we'll be let cold & wet alone in the dark because we refuse to focus on anything else... even if your heart is drenched in a complete FIRE of passion and gifts!!
There's a good song by Tenth Avenue North called "Healing Begins", which talks about a similar thing: this light meeting the darkness. My friend Reily (Riles!) brought it up, and here are some ot its highlighted lyrics:
So let 'em fall down
There's freedom waiting in the sound
When you let your walls fall to the ground
We're here now
This is where the healing begins, oh
This is where the healing starts
When you come to where you're broken within
The light meets the dark
Hmm. The healing begins AFTER you let the walls fall down? AFTER you take down these walls of defense (well, walls you THINK are defending you but are truly just covering up insecurities and imperfections)? Thank you, Tenth Avenue North, for bringing a good point up: the walls fall down, then the light meets the dark, than Healing begins.
I think I've been stuck on step 1 for a couple years now.
Would you feel the same way about yourself?
Monday, May 10, 2010
A Moment of Silence.
Have you ever dealt with death?
Even if it was death covering a person you never knew. Have you ever dealt with it?
I think death itself is what motivates alot of humanity's fears, even motivates the everyday decisions we make.
I came up with this theory as a younger girl and still believe it to this day.
But I've never actually felt the emptiness of knowing someone, someone in your actual everday enviroment; even if not in your presence but in your community, is dead. They're not gone, they're still alive in a spiritual sense; but they are dead physically.
Rereading that last statement over stills my heart...
I approach this topic because of a girl named Yla who attended Chino Hills High. She was very involved in choir and brought smiles and warmth to everyone around her.
She passed away May 10, 2010 due to an allergic reaction to peanut butter.
Rest in peace, Yla-- you were loved by many and will continue to be loved by many. You've warmed many people's hearts and will be in a huge amount of people's prayers.
Yla made me think about it. I don't even know this girl- I've never even talked to her- and I still feel this compassion and thick sympathy. Although I will never ever EVER be able to even FATHOM the pain her family and friends must be going through, a empty quiet feeling sit on my heart. One that at the same time is silenced because Yla deserves a moment of silence, and a silence because I truly don't know what else to say- my mind is struggling to function at the thought of death actually happening.
Thousands, Millions, Billions of people die each day. But one death of one life and cause such enormous impacts on thousands of others lives, as shown in Yla's life. Continous statuses of "Yla, you warmed the earth with your smile" and "Yla, you're amazing and will be missed" flood my facebook homepage, and it makes me think: death is probably one of the things the human mind knows the least about. Death is probably one of the things humans can handle or grip or fathom the least, too.
Yla, thank you for singing in the CHHS choir, thank you for bringing so many smiles and so much happiness, thank you for being you. I don't know you but you're already impacting me.
Rest in Peace Yla Aquino, May 10th, 2010
Even if it was death covering a person you never knew. Have you ever dealt with it?
I think death itself is what motivates alot of humanity's fears, even motivates the everyday decisions we make.
I came up with this theory as a younger girl and still believe it to this day.
But I've never actually felt the emptiness of knowing someone, someone in your actual everday enviroment; even if not in your presence but in your community, is dead. They're not gone, they're still alive in a spiritual sense; but they are dead physically.
Rereading that last statement over stills my heart...
I approach this topic because of a girl named Yla who attended Chino Hills High. She was very involved in choir and brought smiles and warmth to everyone around her.
She passed away May 10, 2010 due to an allergic reaction to peanut butter.
Rest in peace, Yla-- you were loved by many and will continue to be loved by many. You've warmed many people's hearts and will be in a huge amount of people's prayers.
Yla made me think about it. I don't even know this girl- I've never even talked to her- and I still feel this compassion and thick sympathy. Although I will never ever EVER be able to even FATHOM the pain her family and friends must be going through, a empty quiet feeling sit on my heart. One that at the same time is silenced because Yla deserves a moment of silence, and a silence because I truly don't know what else to say- my mind is struggling to function at the thought of death actually happening.
Thousands, Millions, Billions of people die each day. But one death of one life and cause such enormous impacts on thousands of others lives, as shown in Yla's life. Continous statuses of "Yla, you warmed the earth with your smile" and "Yla, you're amazing and will be missed" flood my facebook homepage, and it makes me think: death is probably one of the things the human mind knows the least about. Death is probably one of the things humans can handle or grip or fathom the least, too.
Yla, thank you for singing in the CHHS choir, thank you for bringing so many smiles and so much happiness, thank you for being you. I don't know you but you're already impacting me.
Rest in Peace Yla Aquino, May 10th, 2010
Wednesday, May 5, 2010
"I Can Finally See the Sunset... I'm Gonna Call it Home"
"This is Home" by Switchfoot.
I suggest you look it up. It's a really good song. Maybe a bit over-played back in the day because it was in that one Chronicles of Narnia movie, but it's lyrics bring back mainly 2 awesome memories: 7th grade, and coming to CVCC.
7th grade was such an epic year. I had a good core friends group and my teachers were good overall. God was good and supplied me with alot of Christian friends through Christian Club and other things, and it brought back memories of spring time of 7th grade, towards the end of the school year. I really liked this guy, and I didn't stand a chance considering my age AND just everything to consider; but I didn't care. I might've not cared what people thought of me back then, but I had a good time. I wish I could still be more like that, not continuously thinking about "What's that person thinking of me?" especially if it's someone I really care about. I need to realize, like in 7th grade: the only one person's opinion that actually matters is God's.
Then, fast forward about 2 years into summer of 2009. I had just gone to a summer even at CVCC-- it was this big water day with an epic huge slip n slide-- and I came home, thinking; "Wow, this church is definatley something different..." then I kept going to events and started going regularly. This particular memory actually goes with what the lyrics say. Here's what I mean:
Chorus:
This is home
Now I'm finally
Where I belong
Where I belong
Yeah, this is home
I've been searching
For a place of my own
Now I've found it
Maybe this is home
Yeah, this is home
Belief over misery
I've seen the enemy
And I won't go back
Back to how it was
And I got my heart
Set on
What happens next
I got my eyes wide
It's not over yet
We are miracles
And we're not alone
(Chorus)
And now after all
My searching
After all my questions
I'm gonna call it home
I got a brand new mindset
I can finally see
The sunset
I'm gonna call it home
-----------------------
I had just came from another church, and decided to try out this church with Mikaela (my sister was becoming a regular attendant already too). I guess I had my iPod on shuffle or something; because I was seriously thinking about this lyrics, thinking: "Could this church be my new home?"
Now I can't and don't want to think about life without the friends, relationships, or bonds (including with God Himself)God's created for me at this church. The other churches I've been to were fine, but this one was different. I feel so involved, and so loved (hey the world 'love' in in 'involved'! Hehe) and it's truly amazing how God's blessed me.
I was thinking about that song because I was really getting into it listening to it in the car the other day and I thought of it because youth group's tonight. I'm looking really forward to it!
Thank you God for these amazing blessings.
<3 Chrissy Z
I suggest you look it up. It's a really good song. Maybe a bit over-played back in the day because it was in that one Chronicles of Narnia movie, but it's lyrics bring back mainly 2 awesome memories: 7th grade, and coming to CVCC.
7th grade was such an epic year. I had a good core friends group and my teachers were good overall. God was good and supplied me with alot of Christian friends through Christian Club and other things, and it brought back memories of spring time of 7th grade, towards the end of the school year. I really liked this guy, and I didn't stand a chance considering my age AND just everything to consider; but I didn't care. I might've not cared what people thought of me back then, but I had a good time. I wish I could still be more like that, not continuously thinking about "What's that person thinking of me?" especially if it's someone I really care about. I need to realize, like in 7th grade: the only one person's opinion that actually matters is God's.
Then, fast forward about 2 years into summer of 2009. I had just gone to a summer even at CVCC-- it was this big water day with an epic huge slip n slide-- and I came home, thinking; "Wow, this church is definatley something different..." then I kept going to events and started going regularly. This particular memory actually goes with what the lyrics say. Here's what I mean:
Chorus:
This is home
Now I'm finally
Where I belong
Where I belong
Yeah, this is home
I've been searching
For a place of my own
Now I've found it
Maybe this is home
Yeah, this is home
Belief over misery
I've seen the enemy
And I won't go back
Back to how it was
And I got my heart
Set on
What happens next
I got my eyes wide
It's not over yet
We are miracles
And we're not alone
(Chorus)
And now after all
My searching
After all my questions
I'm gonna call it home
I got a brand new mindset
I can finally see
The sunset
I'm gonna call it home
-----------------------
I had just came from another church, and decided to try out this church with Mikaela (my sister was becoming a regular attendant already too). I guess I had my iPod on shuffle or something; because I was seriously thinking about this lyrics, thinking: "Could this church be my new home?"
Now I can't and don't want to think about life without the friends, relationships, or bonds (including with God Himself)God's created for me at this church. The other churches I've been to were fine, but this one was different. I feel so involved, and so loved (hey the world 'love' in in 'involved'! Hehe) and it's truly amazing how God's blessed me.
I was thinking about that song because I was really getting into it listening to it in the car the other day and I thought of it because youth group's tonight. I'm looking really forward to it!
Thank you God for these amazing blessings.
<3 Chrissy Z
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