"Scars don't dictate who we are, they only dictate where we've been"

I continuously think about the following:

1. Will my dad ever heal?
2. Am I really doing what God wants me to do rather than what I want to do?
3. What would I be thinking if I saw what I was doing now in 7th or 8th grade?

On number 3: I would be thinking... who are all these people surrounding me? Why are they laughing with me, why are they showing love towards me? Where did they come from...?

Besides the obvious questions, I think one I would ask is, "How did I become so blessed?"

and I still ask that question. Daily. Why, God, did you bless me with all these amazing friends and family I have? I am so undeserving, and there are so many other people in the world who need these blessings more than I.

with the good things that come along in life, and especially with the trials that come along in life, one statement remains at the core:

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." -Jeremiah 29:11

and another amazing thing to remember:

"No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it." -1 Corinthians 10:13

I wrote a song on Monday called 'New Year.' I feel like the beginning of summer is the beginning of my New Year. I feel like this is when change enters in myself, my surrounding, and other people. The good kind. I always say I'm a 'summer girl', and this is partially why. I start over in the summmer, I restart my system; my thinking, my joyfullness. Everything.

There have been summers where I have been scarred. (No, I didn't mispell 'scared' I meant 'scarred'.) Scarred severly, at a young age too. But nothing from intention, it's all from what is usually scarring me and continues to do so.

There have been summers where, I forget my scars are there. I can feel them from time to time, but I forget about my scars; and remember the parts of myself that aren't.

This is one of those summers. But not only will I remember the parts that aren't scarred, I'll embrace the parts that are. I'll love them and be thankful for them just as I'm thankful for the parts that aren't scarred, that are clean. I'll treat my scars with care, that almost; they're cleaner than the scarless parts of me.

A revolution is beginning this summer. I don't know what's going to happen. And I hope this summer doesn't go by fast. It's almost like I can't see past the summer. I don't really want to anyway, I'm not looking that much forward to high school. But hopefully I'll learn to embrace high school like I now embrace the things that hurt me the most.

If only the whole world could embrace what hurts them. No, don't go cuddling with a machete. But embrace the people that are out to abuse you. Because obviously, something is abusing them as well.

In the song I wrote on Monday, the lyrics said:
"The New Year's starting point is in the summer, the new song begins with pace set by the drummer... January comes around like a broken friend, but the broken are most beautiful in the end"

(there's a bunch more lyrics where the ... is, but i thought those parts fit best together)

I feel like, it's the broken that need to be embraced the most. So I'm doing that this summer, embracing what's broken inside of me.

It's funny... I don't really feel like anything is broken inside of me right now. Yeah, I see scars; but I mostly see amazing things bound to happen.

God is good. Way more than good.

--Chrissy Z

"Yet"

Psalm 55:21--


"His speech is smooth as butter,
yet war is in his heart;
his words are more soothing than oil,
yet they are drawn swords."


Hmm...

But in Truth, people truly fail because;

Another reason why people fail:


they don't feel appreciated; they don't feel loved. They don't feel motivated to strive forth for anyone or anything when they lack feeling loved. Even if they ARE loved; if they are lacking the knowledge that they are in fact loved; they fail. Love never fails. Let people know you love them, that way, they can never fail.



That's what I'm gonna do.



3 words I don't like:

1. milk.

2. if.

3. fail.


I love you, ti amo.

--Chrissy Z

Why rely on Faith when you have a Shortcut? Because;

I never realized it before, but I think I found the reason why failure exists.


People want the easy way out.


If that's not the only reason, it's definatley one of the stronger reasons why people fail themselves.


I know someone who doesn't do to well in school. This person used to do things to get A's, and he/she said it was okay because everyone else was doing it. But it was considered cheating, and it didn't truly practice his/her skill in the subject. And you know what? He/she is failing the class.


I used to know someone else who went to this big, blown up church; the kind of church so-called "Christians" go to on Easter and Christmas Eve, then never go back. Which, I still question if you need church to call yourself a Christian; but anyways. His/her whole family would go, then they would leave and still continue their terrible, selfish ways. They go to church because they wanted the easy way to heaven-- too bad there isn't one.


I'm learning that, if you seek things in life that will truly fufill you, it won't be easy finding them. Strangely, or maybe not strangely; naturally rather, I'm okay with that. I'm okay with working for things in life. I won't even touch the 'easy' way if it's not the right way. It's almost the 'smart thing or right thing' scenario. I've learned doing the right thing proves to be better than doing the smart thing. Easy to say, people often associate 'easy' with 'smart', or reverse. I've told myself to not think like that anymore... no matter how lazy I feel.


It's ironic that this occurred to me when I was sitting in geography asking to copy someone's study guide answers (which we didn't need to turn in, so I thought it would be okay). It also proves that I am hypocritical, which I'm willing to accept and change.





Please keep praying for my family, pray intensely and passionatley for them.

--Chrissy Z