timidity definition: lacking in boldness or determination
antonyms for timidity: audacity, courage, bravery, fearlessness, valor
Lord, you call me to power, love, and discipline. There are so many different versions of this verse, but all speak the same idea: you call me into Your love, Your strength, Your shelter, Your empowerment; and You give these things to me to claim as my own. Because YOU are loving, strong, a shelter, powerful; I am now loving/loved, strong, sheltered and protected, empowered.
In the past week, my emotional stamina seems to be reflective of someone who is ignorant to this encouraging information. I have had a spirit of timidity.
antonyms for timidity: audacity, courage, bravery, fearlessness, valor
Lord, you call me to power, love, and discipline. There are so many different versions of this verse, but all speak the same idea: you call me into Your love, Your strength, Your shelter, Your empowerment; and You give these things to me to claim as my own. Because YOU are loving, strong, a shelter, powerful; I am now loving/loved, strong, sheltered and protected, empowered.
In the past week, my emotional stamina seems to be reflective of someone who is ignorant to this encouraging information. I have had a spirit of timidity.
I thought my crashing point of realization was when I got in a fender bender because I was too busy thinking about all the things I had to do, or all the things I could have done better.
But then I thought it was when I kept making mistakes at work.
And even after that, more and more occurrences kept happening where I made mistakes.
But then I thought it was when I kept making mistakes at work.
And even after that, more and more occurrences kept happening where I made mistakes.
Honestly, it hurts to think of all the mistakes I made. But I think what is worse, God, is that I went exactly against what You call us to do- to love and to give grace. No, it wasn't about giving love or grace to other people- I mean I did not give it to myself.
It is funny, God, how You know my thoughts. You know I think to myself when I make these mistakes, "That person is going to think less of me, that manager is going to be annoyed with me, that person isn't going to trust me with that task anymore." Ironically enough, the car accident was less stressful emotionally than some of the other small mistakes I made this week. I realized it's because I didn't know the person who's car I bumped into. They were a stranger to me. When I make mistakes in front of other people who I care about, it's a show. They're the audience, and I'm making a fool of myself. That is seriously how it plays out in my mind!
But God, I now realize that none of those people feel or think that way about me. If they do, it doesn't matter anyway. But there is always one person who HAS given me the reprimand that I'm so fearful of, the beating that I'm afraid I deserve when I mess up. I can always rely on this person to tell me what I'm doing wrong and how I am simply overall making a fool of myself.
That person is me.
It is funny, God, how You know my thoughts. You know I think to myself when I make these mistakes, "That person is going to think less of me, that manager is going to be annoyed with me, that person isn't going to trust me with that task anymore." Ironically enough, the car accident was less stressful emotionally than some of the other small mistakes I made this week. I realized it's because I didn't know the person who's car I bumped into. They were a stranger to me. When I make mistakes in front of other people who I care about, it's a show. They're the audience, and I'm making a fool of myself. That is seriously how it plays out in my mind!
But God, I now realize that none of those people feel or think that way about me. If they do, it doesn't matter anyway. But there is always one person who HAS given me the reprimand that I'm so fearful of, the beating that I'm afraid I deserve when I mess up. I can always rely on this person to tell me what I'm doing wrong and how I am simply overall making a fool of myself.
That person is me.
The person I fear the most is myself! The person who beats me up, tears away at my confidence, limits my potential is ME! I challenge myself constantly with timidity! (I am even doing it right now, but this I feel is for beneficial purpose at least...)
Lord, thank You for this realization. Thank You for casting away that self- harmful spirit of mind by calling me to love, power, and discipline. God You cancel out my timidity that I limit myself with. I pray that I may only have eyes to see the love I am surrounded with, not only this but that I need to love myself too Lord. And another thing- thank You for not caring about my mistakes! For knowing that I am going to make them, because You've created me that way! And when I do make mistakes, You tell me I am loved anyway and called to forgiveness. Teach me to forgive the hardest person to forgive, which is myself.
Thank You for having confidence in me when I have none in myself, loving me when I have none left to give to myself, giving me grace EVERYDAY when I won't spare any to myself. God, I want to learn how to extend these things to myself and I pray that You would teach me.
Thank You for having confidence in me when I have none in myself, loving me when I have none left to give to myself, giving me grace EVERYDAY when I won't spare any to myself. God, I want to learn how to extend these things to myself and I pray that You would teach me.
