left and right

there's always that one class, where you either pass them in the morning because the students of the class are being wheeled into the room at around 7 or you see them on testing schedule because they open their door during a certain period but you're half way across campus by the time that happens. you can't help but feel bad for them because their hands are tangled up in- well, themselves. and their faces show true cluelessness (is that a word?) of the conditions they're in. and the lades rolling them around, you feel kinda bad for them too. just because what a tough job that must be, emotionally, to see these 17 18 19 year old kids but feed and teach them like they are 1-2 year olds.

and then you walk to your first few classes, and you laugh because you're friend and you call eachother retards periodically but of course you don't mean it. sometimes you guys even toss around the whole "you belong in a special eds class!" ordeal. and then when the special ed classes get brought up, some of the students call them retards, and you feel a little sting from that and a thought comes to your mind: "you are what you call other people." or even "i know you are, but what are they?"

could it be possible. just think about it for a second. could it be possible that, in this world, God has put who-knows-how-many people on this planet. and a fraction of them have downs, or are in special ed classes. and in doing this, humans have confused over time the people that are truly "retards" or truly have the dissability?

because think about it. i look at a girl walking across a bathroom stall i prepare to enter. she throws me a "how are you?" i say "good!". would anyone else even give me eye contact in the bathroom? look at how happy they are. they see life so simply, like in the eyes of a child, and from what i've observed it feels like they don't spend alot of time dwelling on the problems of life and the issues of today.

where as, the person calling someone else a retard, has struggled with depression various times in her life and at time blurs her own vision from seeing what she is so blessed with in her life because she is so caught up with what is not good or perfect in her life. and look at HER health, look at HER normal body and face, and she is not even close to what the "touched" girl on the LEFT looks like.

the girl on the LEFT and the girl on the RIGHT, they make me wonder. could the "normal" people really be the retarded ones? because of our negativity, because of our focus on the issues and what's the flukes in every blessing? whereas people like the girl on the left are actually the ones who get it right and understand how to really live life because they are joyful, abundantly happy, and look at life in a simple and uncomplicated matter. we could really learn a lot from them.

the girl on the right is the real retard, huh? the girl on the left is the real one who knows what's up.

by the way, i'm the girl on the right.

"oh envelopes, stuffed with feelings found, to write this down in means to reconcile"

cool idea. starting to write letters to notes to myself. on what? life. in a way i'm not just writing to myself though. someone else is reading them too.

and sometimes that someone will be you! this is one of those times.

w/ love. chriSSy z

a letter.

Dear Chrissy,

You know, there are some things that just happen for a reason. There are some things you just need to forgive yourself about and forget. Decisions you make, maybe later you regret those decisions more than anything. But they are there for a reason. Something else was meant to happen to you. Something better.

Live life. Regret nothing! Give THANKS. Surround yourself with love, surround others with love. There was a reason for the decisions you've made. All for the better, my friend.

God loves you so much. And you love Him so much too..

And don't forget, you're only fifteen.

Love, Christina

"(Blank) Beginnings"

Hey guys, the funniest thing happened to me last night.
I was having a terrible time going to sleep. But I came up with an idea which I have no idEA how it came to my head but iit just did (this happens sometimes in the middle of the night.) But I got this idea to form a new blog about (blank.) Don't know what I mean? Check it out here, I really encourage you to, it could help you to see life in a different and new perspective:

http://itspagesareblank.blogspot.com/2011/04/beginnings.html


Thanks. Happy blogging,
Chrissy Z